Category Archives: #IKnowHim Stories

Today’s story was submitted by Mandy Pugh. Read her story below to see how God revealed He had a greater plan for her life. 

Proverbs3:5

As a teenager, I can remember so many times talking to God and asking him into my heart but never taking that next step to salvation.  There was still something holding me back.  I truly believe God places people in your life for a reason.  My high school sweetheart’s family were devout Christians.  They will never truly know the impact they had on my life.  Even though it wasn’t exactly for the right reasons, I started attending church with them.  I knew God was working in my life.  On July 31, 1998, God gave me a second chance at life.  I was in a horrible vehicle accident.  For three days, I was in a medical induced coma due to the brain injury I sustained.  I walked away from the accident with a major concussion and minor scraps and bruises.  Many people would say I am lucky to be here today due to the fact I was wearing my seat belt that morning.  I know in my heart it wasn’t by chance or luck that I was given another chance at life.  God had other plans for me.  After the accident, something inside of me changed.  I wanted to savor every moment in my life but still I hesitated.  I want to think that I had to completely hit my lowest for me to see how much I needed God in my life. 

I remember sitting in the pew at Porter Springs Baptist Church and I knew in my heart it was time.  I had waited too long and God had a purpose for my life even though I still wasn’t quiet sure what that was at the time.  I was baptized in April 2002.  Almost a year and a half later, I married my best friend.  Life was great.  I gave birth to our first daughter in April of 2006 and the second just sixteen months later.  Family has always been important to me.  My family was shaken in 2008 when circumstances sent my father away for almost a year.  Being a “daddy’s girl”, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it all.  I was crushed and questioned why. As we communicated, he would tell me that he was reading his Bible daily and knew God would get us through it.  Here I was questioning God and turning my back on Him when He was the one person I needed to be turning to.  I had to get down on my knees and beg God for forgiveness. 

Proverbs 3:4-5 “Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  This verse has such a powerful meaning.  We can’t lose sight of God in our times of trouble but, instead, we must turn to Him.  Give praise to Him and trust in the plan He has for your life.  I am blessed to say that I am a born again Christian.  A year ago, God laid it on my heart to take the role as Team Leader for Children’s Ministry at my church.  What a blessing it is watching children come to know and trust in Jesus Christ.  God is working in my life daily and can’t wait to see what else he has planned for me. What a blessing it is to know Him!… and an even greater blessing every day to know Him more.

Has God revealed a different plan to you, other than your own? How does trusting in God’s plan for your life rather than leaning on your own understanding influence your daily decisions? How have you experienced this in your life? We’d love to hear your thoughts, leave your comment in the section below! You can also SHARE YOUR STORY here!  

#IKnowHim story submitted by Mandy Pugh 

Mandy's #IKnowHim story

Our #IKnowHim story today comes from Natalie who shares about a time in her life when God revealed Himself to her as her strength and comfort during a difficult summer. She is sharing her story today with hopes to encourage others going through difficult seasons with five characteristics of God that remain true no matter the circumstances.  

5TipsforaHardSeason_0002

As I pulled away from the coffee shop after saying goodbye that Sunday afternoon, I began weeping. With tears clouding my eyes, I managed to navigate onto the freeway for the long drive home. Alone. I thought of all the people around me driving to their various destinations and wondered if any felt as sad as me, or were they all happy on this sunny summer Sunday?

My husband and I had been living four hours apart for several months because of his job. His help was necessary at another facility, and while I was proud of his skillset, it broke my heart for us to be apart. I hated saying goodbye on Sundays. I came to dread the end of every weekend because it meant a week of being alone, of worrying about my husband working incredibly long hours, and of dealing with all things happening back home.

Things were falling apart. My car was having mechanical issues, our shower in the master bedroom was leaking causing the wood to rot, and worst of all, our daughter was struggling terribly with anxiety. I decided the best thing to do on that car ride home was to turn on some worship music to lift my spirits; otherwise, I was going to unravel completely. As I began to worship and pray, I cried out to the Lord.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16 NLT

I desperately needed God’s mercy, His grace, and His comfort. My heart felt broken and the separation was very difficult, but I trusted that the Lord would carry us through this tough season. He is a gracious and compassionate Father, One whom I can come to at any time with my needs. I can approach His throne boldly knowing He hears the cries of my heart, and He is willing to offer me grace, mercy, and unending love.

That summer was particularly challenging; however, I continually approached the throne of God asking for fresh grace for the day, for His mercy, for strength, for healing for our daughter, for the work assignment to end quickly, for protection for my husband, and for the courage to manage our home alone.

***

When you walk through hard times, it is helpful to remember five things:

  1. God is on the throne, sovereign over all
  2. He will not allow you to be overcome
  3. He is faithful to carry out His promises in the Word
  4. He is ready to listen to all your heart’s cries
  5. He will never leave your side.

5TipsforaHardSeason_0001

God knows all about our struggles, our pain, our worries, our fears, our trials, and our weaknesses, but we have hope because of who God is. He is trustworthy, He is mighty, He is holy, and He is loving. We can cast our cares on the Lord and believe that He will help us get through the rough patches. He loves us beyond measure. He is our Comforter, our Protector, our good, good Father.

try2

Natalie is a Bible teacher, speaker, and writer who blogs about everyday things using anecdotes of faith, marriage, food, and friendship. She loves the sunshine, fine chocolate, reading, and traveling.

Website: www.everydaynatalie.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydaynatalieblog/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everyday.natalie/

 

Our #IKnowHim story today was submitted by Alli Miller, who experienced the goodness of God in the valley of the shadow of death. She shares her story today to encourage anyone that finds themselves in the valley or overcome by darkness. She reminds us to trust that God will make the darkness light, and turn the mountain that lies ahead into level ground because that is what HE promises, and that is exactly what she experienced. 

Valley

No one expects to die on a Thursday. It was a surprise to me as well, but that’s a little too far ahead in the story. The beginning is an autumn day. The kind of day ripe for expectation as it was the start of the weekend. The weather forecast predicts nine inches of rain. Living in a state frequenting tropical storms and hurricanes, we could handle it. The rain began as expected. The unexpected part is that it kept raining. Sheets and sheets through the rest of the weekend. In a matter of days, that nine-inch forecast is met, then exceeded by an extra seventeen inches. A soggy Monday arrived, and it’s finally over. Over twenty-six inches of rain fell. Sixty thousand people displaced in a matter of three days. But death didn’t come for me then.

Floods are no respecter of persons or property. My house did not flood, so as soon as it was safe to begin cleanup, I was on it. The next few months my weekdays consisted of my regular day job, then after work, I’d be a part of a team picking up the pieces of someone’s life that had been swept up by the flood. Saturdays were all-day cleanup events with multiple teams spread out across three cities. There’s a delicate balance in caring for victims of flooding. It requires walking that line where you care for people, while simultaneously throwing out every material possession they own. The kind of things that help turn a house into a home. Trinkets and treasures that have memories attached to them. All needed dragging to the dump pile on the street. Helping sometimes hurts. But death didn’t come for me then either.

Two months into flood recovery, it’s a Sunday full of blue sky. My church routine begins with teaching the smallest children a Bible story. The story for the littles this week is of His faithfulness. How He is good all the time. No matter the fire or the flood, He is there, infinitely involved in our lives. The littles ask about Him. Nothing draws you closer to Jesus than having a seven-year-old innocently pose a question that stumps you. After the kid’s small group is over, it’s time to worship corporately. Sitting amongst my community, a wave of exhaustion rolls over me. I could barely keep my head up during the church service. I didn’t know it then, but that was the first physical indication He would lead me through the valley of the shadow of death. 

Did you know your body naturally keeps viruses locked away in your spine? They rarely travel up your spinal cord. Unfortunately, weariness weakens your immune system. Your body can’t fight well when tired. What began as being extra sleepy on a Sunday night revealed itself in the form of a virus crossing my blood-brain barrier. Viruses don’t attack your brain; they eat it. This particular virus attacked sensory organs. I would go blind, losing sight in my right eye. My brain would swell, losing feeling in my hands and feet. Tests on top of tests in the ER and then after being admitted to the hospital. Once green eyes turned gray in the fight for survival. Apparently, the human body decides eye color isn’t a necessity when fighting a virus lodged in your brain stem. There are days I still don’t remember. The one night doctors told my family they couldn’t do anything else. Just see if I make it through the evening. My sister needing to answer the question of where to ship my body if this night ended in death. That next morning, waking up with new IVs and bruises not knowing what had happened. Sometimes the valley of the shadow of death looks like a hospital room in muted yellows.

“And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.”

Isaiah 42:16

Isaiah is known as the “Evangelical Prophet.” He prophesies of the Messiah, His character, His death and His kingdom. This verse, like the majority of the book, is written with the intent to point the reader to Him. Death’s shadow, death itself, dies in the light of our Savior. The redemptive power of the cross reveals that my death is inconsequential. A virus may have ravaged my body, but death can do nothing to my soul. Death defeated is but an off-key echo fading in the wondrous overture that is His kingdom coming.

My story didn’t end that night in the hospital, but eventually, there will be a day when He directs me from this present world into His everlasting joy. And as a follower of Christ, your ending is the same as mine. It’s impossible to see past my pen and into your life. I do not know the valley He walks you through. But, oh, God is good even when our circumstances are not. He leads the blind in ways they do not know. He guides us down paths our feet have never thought to tread. He transforms dark to light. He levels craggy peaks. Our God does this. The Almighty does not abandon those who are His own.

 Alli Miller

Alli loves turning pages, learning more about our Living Hope, laugh lines, and serving in her local church body. Her heart is for encouraging others to taste and see God is breathtakingly good to and through them. Say hello at http://allimillerwrote.com or on social media @allimillerwrote. 

Have you ever found yourself in a valley of some sort? What was it that got you through to the other side? We’d love to hear your answer in the comment section, and feel free to leave some encouragement for Alli!

Have you experienced God in you life? We are always praying for people to boldly share what God has done in their lives and would love to help you share your testimony of God’s faithfulness here on the blog. Visit our submission page for more info by clicking HERE. Every story makes an ETERNAL difference. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Today’s #IKnowHim story was submitted by Lauren Clark, a young mother of three who experienced God in powerful ways during one of the most difficult seasons of her life. Read her story to see how God saved the life of her and her son, and her relationship with God was forever changed. 

I have always wanted to be a mom. After graduating high school I went to Texas Tech University for one year and three days to get my MRS. degree and after realizing that cutting classes the first day of my sophomore year was probably a bad sign I dropped out and began putting more effort into my photography career that I began at 17. Three months after I quit going to college I met my husband and we were married seven months later at the ripe ages of 19 and 21. I was raised in a deeply spiritual and giving family and I dreamed of the day that I would be a stay at home mom, cook homemade meals in the kitchen and have water balloon fights with my kids in the backyard. Fast forward to year seven of our marriage. Within the previous three years we had gone through two careers, three towns, two states and had our first two sons. I was exhausted in every way possible. Back to back pregnancies almost did me in! After finally loosing all 60 pounds of my pregnancy weight and feeling like I was finally getting ownership of my body back from my toddlers for the first time in four years, I had made a strong pledge to not get pregnant again for a long, long time.

One month into my pledge I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test.

I was fearful, depressed and a little bit angry. We had been through so many transitions and struggles in those years and this was not a convenient time for me to be sick for months, taking a maternity leave from my home based business again and trying to save up cash for another home birth.

Around the turn of my first trimester I had a very vivid dream that I delivered a still born baby around 20 weeks. God had used dreams in my life in the past to show me very real things that were about to happen in my life and so I woke up with an eery feeling that I may possibly miscarry the baby as I had seen in my dream. I blamed myself for my own feelings of rejecting the pregnancy from the start. I felt guilt and relief and fear all at once. How did I get here? How did I go from wishing to be where I was in life as a mom to wishing that precious life away? Shame, hopelessness and ambivalence stirred around in my heart.

At 16 weeks I began to show signs of miscarriage and immediately came crashing into a wall of fear as I remembered my dream. I thought for sure that God was going to be just and take my baby because I hadn’t wanted to be pregnant. I needed to be punished by a just God, taught a lesson to never stumble again in my faith. This was the theology that I grew up believing. My husband was out with friends that night and the children were already in bed. I was alone in the bathroom and the emotions finally burst through the door of my heart with desperation. “Oh God! I want the baby, I WANT THE BABY! Please don’t take my baby. Let him live.” I wept for thirty minutes and prayed. How could my heart have gone to that place of apathy about a life inside of me? That moment turned my heart around. I was in a place of deep brokenness and repentance before God and I began to speak life over my baby.

I quit complaining, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and I continued on my journey of pregnancy with renewed hope that God would sustain me. He would have to, He was my only hope.

I had chosen to do a home birth with my second son because it was a more frugal option, and after going through it once and not dying I thought that it would be a good idea to just do that again. I hired the best midwife in all of Kansas City. She had more than 20 years of experience and was one of those ladies that you would consider your humorous and blunt mom. As my son’s due date came and went I was starting to feel the anxiety of the home birthing process. I always joked about home birthing and would say things like, “I won’t die… most likely”, but this time I needed something more than sarcasm and endurance to tether my wavering soul to. My doula told me that the verse that she focused on during her five home births was Psalm 118:17:

“I will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord.”

That was it. I wrote it on a notecard and it became the verse that I would re-read when I would begin to falter in my fear.

11 days went by and still no baby. I had tried labor dances, jumping, castor oil, spicy foods, and everything else the internet tells you to try and nothing happened. Finally almost two weeks after my due date my water broke and I went into my home birthing beast mode. My face would not give away any pain that was going on in my body. I had trained myself through trials in my life to be a warrior and never let myself look weak. After 7 hours of labor I gave birth to a beautiful son, Samuel James Clark. I looked like death for a minute after I had him, but then the joy of not being pregnant shocked me back to life and I was so ecstatic that it was all over! Sam was healthy, perfect, and my biggest baby yet.

I was enjoying the rush of it all and didn’t notice that the midwife assistants had called my midwife into the bathroom for a few minutes and when she came back out she looked surprisingly shocked. Nothing ever worried or surprised this lady, she had seen it all and made it through it all. She began to try to explain that I had a placenta malformation called a Velamentous Cord Insertion and it was the worst one she had ever seen in her 20 years of midwifery. She said that it was a miracle that my baby and I were both alive and began showing us where the water broke and how it was torn right next to a huge blood vessel that was in the wrong place. She said that if it had been a hair to the left then we would have both died. It should have been spotted on the 20 week ultrasound, but was overlooked, and would have mandated a 36 weeks c-section at a hospital. She also began to explain that if I had gone in without previously knowing about this situation to a hospital for a 41 week induction and they would have broken my water manually with an amnio hook that we both would have died. She told me that having an unmedicated home birth actually saved our lives.

The severity of the situation wouldn’t become a reality to me until she came back for my two day checkup and this very strong and experienced midwife began to cry and just kept saying, “You just don’t understand.”

This was probably one of the most shameful times in my life as a Christian and a mother because I didn’t have the faith that God would provide for me emotionally, financially and spiritually during this pregnancy, yet He came through with a miracle story for an unworthy mother.

My view of God’s love and care for us in our unfaithfulness and fear was forever deepened by the birth of my third son, Samuel. Not surprisingly, the name Samuel means “God has heard”, a name that my husband chose at 16 weeks.

“I will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord!”

Psalm 118:17

Lauren's #IKnowHim Story

Inspired by Lauren’s story? Don’t forget to leave her some encouragement in the comment section! Have you experienced God in a powerful way? Let us know what He has done for you! Submit your story HERE!

We hope you are having the best time celebrating this holiday season with your loved ones! As I have been studying an advent devotional, I am completely taken aback by the arrival of God’s promised Messiah, the birth of Jesus, in a fresh and powerful way. There are so many reasons to take a moment and put all the crazy hustle and bustle on pause, but I would love to specifically invite you to take a few moments and meditate on this promise fulfilled. When God sent Jesus to be born, He not only fulfilled His promise in sending a Savior for the world, but also revealed the vastness of His love for us. God knew the magnitude of sin would require a magnitude of reconciliation and in order to make a way so that we could be redeemed, a sacrifice of the highest price must be made. His answer to sin and death was to make perfect atonement by delivering an infant King, who would have the ability to choose to withstand sin and after time spent on earth, would grow up to be sacrificed for the sins of man. God offered up His son, Jesus, to live a life not of comfort and ease but instead a life of servanthood and unimaginable suffering. By putting the weight of the world on His son’s shoulders, God kept the promise that He would make a way for us to be with Him forever through the reconciliation that was accomplished by Christ on the cross.

We read this powerful prophecy in Isaiah 53 (ESV):

Who has believed what he has heard from us?
    And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2For he grew up before him like a young plant,
    and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
    and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected[ by men,
    a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs
    and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
    smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
    and with his wounds we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
    we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
    yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
    and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
    so he opened not his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
    and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
    stricken for the transgression of my people?
And they made his grave with the wicked
    and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
    and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
    he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
    he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see[i] and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
    make many to be accounted righteous,
    and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
    and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
    and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
    and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Next time we see a nativity scene, may we be reminded of the weight of the promise that brought the baby Jesus, the Messiah. Let us never forget that we are the transgressors He made intercession for described in verse 12. It was our sins that He was born to carry on the cross. May we also celebrate that Jesus is coming again, and use this Christmas season to offer up our lives to be used to make His name known while we wait for His return.

To continue the mediation on the Savior of the world, we have compiled a playlist (see below)for you to use in your own time of prayer. Let us know how you are centering your heart and mind on Christ this season!

We are lining up stories to share here on the blog next year, so if you have experienced God in YOUR life–click HERE to join the movement! We want to hear from YOU!

Merry Christmas friends, I can’t wait to watch God move through this community in 2017!

Grace and Peace,

Rachel Sweatt

28
Nov

Our #IKnowHim story today was submitted by Kyle Joy, who recently had an incredible experience with God in the midst of a family tragedy. God’s tangible presence stood with them in the fire, and when his family emerged, they came out in strength, power, and with a God-given purpose. 

ThirdStrand from Third Strand on Vimeo.

We are so honored to share a brief message from Kyle to the #IKnowHim community. Below you will find links where you can partner with Third Strand in a variety of ways. Please feel free to leave him and his team some encouragement in the comment section as they faithfully take each step forward in obedience, to share the message that God has a plan. As a community of believers, we would love for you to join with us in prayer for their faith to be strengthened and their hearts to be encouraged while they strive to honor Kalee and her sweet baby Cru, with this organization. 

“Our mission is to advocate for Healthy, Nursing babies in need of donor human breast milk, with our primary focus being nursing babies who have tragically lost a mother and nursing mothers who are unable to breastfeed due to a life-threatening illness.

The babies that we serve do not qualify for charitable donor breast milk from NonProfit Milk Banks. 100% of the milk distributed from these Milk Banks goes to premature babies in NICUs and sick babies in outpatient care. This, despite the growing trend of loving and generous mothers rallying together to donate gallons upon gallons of breast milk to these healthy babies.

Until you are thrust into this situation, you do not realize or appreciate the need for this donated milk to be thoroughly screened and pasteurized to ensure the safety and health of the baby. The only safe way to feed any baby donated breast milk is for the milk to be properly screened and pasteurized. Currently, Milk Banks are the only avenue to receive this milk, and healthy babies do not qualify for the milk without a hefty price tag ($1,000 / week to feed a newborn baby).

Our mission is to organize, collect and manage the breast milk donations generated by these horrific events and deliver it to NonProfit Milk Banks in exchange for pasteurized donor milk to feed the healthy baby for up to 8 weeks. This also ensures that the milk that was donated is put to use by feeding babies being served by the Milk Banks. In essence, our model is a continuous model of ‘paying-it-forward.’

Third Strand is about much more than delivering milk and feeding babies, however. Third Strand is a story and a testimony of rising from the ashes and being able to see God’s great plan at work in all our lives. Our tragedy brought feelings of doubt, anger, despair and question in the initial days. However, those feelings quickly turned to a humbling sense of feeling blessed and loved by our friends, our family, our church, our community, and most importantly, God. Kalee’s death has grown our spiritual relationship with God and presented us with the opportunity to pay forward the lessons we learned and the power of God’s unending love.

I hope that you hear our story and can relate to our message. I also hope that our testimony is one of strength and encouragement in that God does have a plan for every single one of us, and even though, sometimes, that plan isn’t what we want, he knows what he’s doing.”

Kyle

For more information on Third Strand, click HERE.

To support them in their campaign to spread the message of Third Strand, click HERE.

Have you experienced God? Do you have a story that reflects God is real, He is here, and He is good? We’d love to hear how God is moving in your life and the things He has done. Click here for more information on how to submit your story! We can’t wait to hear from you!

This #IKnowHim story was submitted by Bailey Wesley, a young mom who shares a painful time in her life when she experienced God’s unfailing presence and grace despite her resentment. She honors her brother by sharing their story and wants to encourage others to find rest in the Lord. 

If you were encouraged by her testimony, please help us share her story and continue to pray for those that will be moved to consider beginning a new relationship with Jesus, as well as those that need to begin addressing deep, painful wounds and emotions with God face on. What an incredible reminder, that He is never surprised or taken aback by our emotions or resistance, but only loves us all the more and is only that much more motivated to restore us with His unfailing grace.

Do you have a story to share? Have you had a supernatural experience with God or felt His presence in your midst? We want to hear from you! Click here to submit your story.

You can follow Bailey’s journey over at her blog, The Life of a Wesley Wife.

10
Oct

Our featured #IKnowHim story today was submitted by Jessie Pope, a young mother of 3 sweet daughters. In the toughest season of her life, she shares the moment when God revealed the truth that He knew HER. Read her story and imagine a God that knows it all, yet loves all the more. 

 

We fully know God, when we realize that He already fully KNOWS us…

It’s kind of like that awful feeling you get in your stomach when you’re in the middle of your “it’s a summer morning and we have nothing to do routine” and you hear a knock on your door. What?  You know the feeling? You look around in sheer panic; your kids have you and your house in pieces…. Naked Barbies with clothes who knows where, blocks no where near their block containers, snack cups in literally every room in your home (only because your “super intense snacking almost two year old” followed you into every room every twenty minutes with said snack cups, AFTER you had fed her the most nutritious fulfilling breakfast you could think of, BEGGING you for the snack that goes inside and then dropping the snack cup in the room after she turns into the SNACK HULK when you deny her said snack ( not that that happens in my house often or anything)), you’re not sure if you have brushed your teeth- but your pretty sure your 8 year old has (and that makes you feel even worse about yourself; but you have had coffee so maybe it will cover up any ungodly morning breath smell that’s still lingering), your 8 year old is running to the door while your scrambling to change the Hulks diaper because its 9 am and you still haven’t, she’s yelling at you that its her CPS worker and your yelling back not to open because that’s all you need is the CPS worker documenting that you let your 8 year old open the front door of your home without you being right there to make sure she isn’t a burglar, rapist or some other AWFUL person or villain that you had previously spent way too much time in bed worrying about the night before! “NO,” your heart sinks a little into your stomach… “I just don’t want anyone to see us like this.”

That’s how I’ve felt in my life with Jesus for a while now. I don’t want him to come in; I don’t want him to see the mess. I don’t want him to see how hard it is for me to roll out of bed in the morning twenty minutes after my 8 year old has already been up waiting (somewhat like a new puppy) to see what her new mom has planned for her for the day. When in reality her new mom is struggling to feel like her mom at all and has NO idea how she is going to love all three of these baby girls the Lord has given her well.  I don’t want him to see that I literally made no effort to spend any time with him at all that morning or the three mornings before that and that instead of craving his word I am only craving the worlds largest cup of coffee and the Today show (which I can’t watch because I have an 8 year old now who hears and listens to EVERYTHING). I want to hide the fact that I have never known my own selfishness more than I do now that I’ve invited a sweet girl with no mom or dad to come into our home so we can be that for her. I want to hide from him that I loose my cool with my littlest because I feel like I have “no cool” left, that I can’t remember the last time I prayed over the sweet unborn little girl inside of me because I feel like I am drowning and by the time I put my babes down for bed all I want is to eat my secret ice cream in peace and watch something that I don’t have to think about, kiss my husband (who I am completely not deserving of) and roll over to sleep because I know I have to do this again tomorrow and I’m not sure I know if I can.

And then like a ton of bricks it hits me …

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel- and God KNEW.” Exodus 2:23-25

“and God Knew!” He knew! He knew the state of His children. They were crying out and He heard. He HEARD and He ACTED on their behalf.

I’m pretty sure I burst into tears when I read this. God knows.

See, I had read this passage months before our sweet 8 year old came to make her home with us forever. It meant the world to me then because our journey to get her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. In that moment it meant that I knew God knew my heart, He knew how much I wanted us to be able to intercede on her behalf, He knew my heart was full of love for this girl and was ready to take her in. He knew and He would act. And he DID!

But reading it this time brought more emotions, sobs, and ugly “I’m really pregnant” cries than the time before. The thing is, it’s an encouraging thought to think that God knows you when you’re in His word, seeking His face, going to bible study once a week, TALKING about how you are going to love your orphan girl and point her to Jesus and how it’s not going to be hard to love her as much as you love your own kids. The table turns when you read that God sees you and HE KNOWS you when you’re in one of the hardest and ugliest times of your life. Because it’s then that you have to make a choice. Am I going to realize that God knows me in this state and YET still LOVES me and is FOR me? Or, am I going to believe the Deceiver and believe that there’s no way the true God can truly love me after knowing everything about me?

He does know and He does love. He loves BIG. This summer has been the scariest roller coaster I have ever been on. I’ve never felt stranded in fear, anxiety, selfishness, self-loathing, exhaustion, and just pure defeat like I have in this time. But here’s what I’m learning. God knows and he sees. He sees the mess, he sees my impatience, he sees that learning how to love two kids with the same amount of love is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, He knows I fill up with fear and worry thinking about how I will possibly love the third one. He knows that because of my state of mind I’ve been unloving and impatient with the life partner he has given me, and He knows that my heart has acted out of anything but the Father’s love – and yet. And yet… He. Still. Loves. Me. He loves me not because of my good days or weeks or moments- he loves me because when He sees me, He sees Jesus’ blood and righteousness. God knows my sin- he knew it two thousand years ago as he laid surrendered on a beautiful wretched cross. He knew then and he knows now and he has never stopped loving and he never will.

Because of Jesus I know that I can be fully known by God and yet STILL fully loved. Because I realize he knows me fully I can know him fully. I know his love, his patience, his kindness, his steadfastness. It’s never changing and never ending.

So my challenge is this- when that knock on the door comes and all you want to do is keep Him out for fear of him seeing you and knowing you; OPEN it! Let him in. He already knows you, He sees you, and believe me -He LOVES you.

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26
Sep

Today we are featuring an #IKnowHim story submitted by full-time vocational missionaries Allie and Alvan Morales. They love Jesus more than anything, and in their short time of being married and full time missionaries they have seen the hand of God provide just what they needed at just the right time. If you are inspired by their story or would love to pray for them, leave them a comment of encouragement as they continue to fight the good fight all over the world in the name of Jesus.

You can read more about YWAM Sarasota here.

If you are interested in following their journey, you can read the latest here! There, you can also find ways to partner with them in prayer and support, as well as an opportunity to stay connected by subscribing to updates.

Please help us share their story by sharing this video on social media using #IKnowHim, and feel free to tag us so we know you watched it! If you have experienced God in a way that left you knowing God is real, He is here, and He is good we would love to hear it! You can submit your story HERE. We are so honored to lift the name of Jesus with you all! 

 

Today’s #IKnowHim story comes from someone that knew about Jesus his whole life. Read Dr. Wolfe’s story to see how his life changed when he realized that this was not the same as knowing Jesus, and how desiring to really know Him has influenced every area of his life. 

I grew up in church—my Dad was a pastor. I gave my life to Jesus and was baptized at a very early age. But it wasn’t until my third year of college that I really began to surrender myself to the all-encompassing truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If the gospel is true, it is radically true. It claims to touch every area of my life and to define my very existence: once lost and dead in sin, the gospel brought me to life through faith in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:1-5). The gospel took me from total ruin before God to total favor in Him.

For two years (yes, I was on the 5-year plan) I sat in the parking lot of Lamar University in Beaumont, TX every single morning, digging into God’s Word and prayerfully searching the heart of this God who had redeemed me. I figured that if I claimed to believe what was in this Book, I had better start familiarizing myself with its contents. The result: I grew in my faith more in those two years than I had my entire life. The words of the Psalmist became the daily cry of my heart: “I have chosen the way of truth; I have set Your ordinances before me. I cling to Your decrees; Lord, do not put me to shame. I pursue the way of Your commands, for You broaden my understanding,” (Psalm 119:30-32). God opened my eyes in those years to how He was working within me, through me, and around me.

It became increasingly apparent to me that if this gospel really was what it claimed to be, there was no part of my life it should not touch. If I had staked my claim on the reality of God’s mercy and grace found at the foot of Jesus’s cross, then I could stand on nothing other than the authority and sufficiency of His Word in every area of my life. I still struggled with obedience to God’s Word in many ways. My witness was far from perfect. At times I look back on those years with shame to know that my words and actions often defamed the name of Christ instead of faming it. But in those moments, at the lowest point of my humbled regret, God reminds me that there is “now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” (Romans 8:1). True forgiveness and acceptance of a changed heart is not common from those who have witnessed our past failures. But for the Christian who humbles himself in confession of sin, “God is faithful and just to forgive, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:9). Through testimonies of restoration (and through blogs such as this one), the God of our salvation redeems even our failures for His glory.

There have been many catalyst moments in my walk with Jesus over the years. But this sweet time of daily communion with God changed me in the deepest places of my heart. In those two years, my testimony in Christ changed from, “I know Him,” to, “I KNOW Him; and I long to know Him more.” Jesus defined eternal life as such: “that they might come to know You, the One who is from the beginning, and the Son whom You have sent,” (John 17:3). As it turns out, the more I come to know God, the more I long to know Him. “As a deer pants for streams of water,” so I long for my God; “I thirst for God, the living God,” (Psalm 42:1-2). During those college years when my faith really began to take root, I learned that knowing God intimately is both the present responsibility and the eternal reward of those who humbly seek Him.

Admittedly, I am so far from what I should be. But through the blood of Jesus Christ, my daily failures are scandalously overcome by the extravagant love of my Heavenly Father. Even as a pastor now, my daily pursuit is also my daily prize: to know Him more. And as I contemplate the wonders of His great love for me and the depths of His mercy and grace, I long for the day when I will “know [Him] fully, as I am fully known,” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

 

#IKnowHim. Do you?

 

 

Dr. Tony Wolfe, Pastor

Antioch Baptist Church Lovelady, TX

 

Dr. Wolfe